My husband loves surprises just as much as a little boy does. In the almost 18 years we have been together, he has surprised me countless times, and I have sometimes felt the surprise was more for him, the surprise maker, than for myself, the recipient. His joy at successfully surprising me is exuberant and almost palpable. His most complex surprise was his proposal. I thought the surprise was on my parents, who we had driven six hours to see on a holiday weekend for an unannounced visit. But we were all surprised when, hands messy with melted butter and the juices of Maine lobster, he pulled out the little blue box and announced his intentions to me and my parents simultaneously. Wow. I gave him my biggest display of trust and confidence when he took me on a faraway trip to celebrate the completion of my residency training program by agreeing to get on a plane with him without knowing the destination. Not a bad surprise, either, to wake up and find myself in Rarotonga, the Cook Islands. There have been scores of other smaller surprises through the years, to the point where I am almost disappointed when I expect a surprise, but don't receive one. So, for his 40th, I thought, what better present than a surprise! Not only does he love a good surprise, but anyone who knows me knows that I cannot keep a secret to save my life, so a surprise from me would be that much more meaningful. I knew that a surprise party was not a possibility, because he really wanted to plan the guest list with me to make sure that everyone important to him was included. But I could surprise him with a present. For his birthday, I gave him three surprises. One, the gift, was refurbishing his father's old watch, which my husband had only worn on our wedding day. (If 40 is not old enough to wear one's "good things" on a daily basis, then when?) The second was my outfit for the party. Several years ago, his mother had given me her cheongsam, which had been made for her in Hong Kong in the 60s. I love these traditional Chinese dresses and I love vintage, so I was excited to be able to get this dress altered in time to wear for the party. Glitz and glam, and also a family heirloom.
The third surprise was the hardest secret to keep, but I thought I had done a good job. Since the ultimate reason for the party was to gather around him the people he loves for a festive time, I worked very hard to make sure that as many of his invited guests could come as possible. The wild card was one of his oldest friends, his best man from our wedding. Since Best Man had just moved from the East Coast to Colorado and had just started a new job, I knew this was a longshot. And to keep his visit a surprise, even harder. My husband and I would look at the Evite responses together, and he would ask me if I heard from people other than through the Evite. I told him not to worry, I would take care of it. He asked specifically a few times if Best Man had gotten in touch with me, but I kept mum, and reminded him that he knew as well as I that Best Man was last minute about things. Closer to the party, as we were planning the seating assignments, I made my first big mistake. While I was careful to not write Best Man's name on the chart, I did include him in the tally, which I had written in the center of each table. I have never thought of my husband as being particularly detail oriented, but unfortunately he was in this case. He looked at the number,11, which I had written on the chart, and started counting the names around the table, "One, two, three,... did you count correctly?"
"Just let me be in charge of this, please," I snapped, and grabbed the paper from his hands. A little fishy. Then, the night before the party, as we were going to sleep, we were talking about the party and who would be there. I told him that I was a bit nervous about having to give a toast, and joked, "Maybe I should call on Best Man to give the toast, like at our wedding." OOPS! I quickly added, "Yeah, I can call him on the cell and put it on speaker during the party." My husband told me he thought that was funny and an interesting idea, and I thought I had gotten away with my slip.
The next day, the doorbell rang and I knew it was Best Man. I called out to my husband, "Hey, come and see who is at the door." He came quickly, laughed, and said, "I know who it is."
Oh well, I guess I was not as crafty as I thought. But at least he was not expecting his father's watch or his mother's dress. I think I am done with trying to keep secrets for a while now.
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